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Worst Social Media Marketer of The Year Award

Bad Advertising Campaigns | Social Media BlogMeet Jim. He works for Badhire Pharmaceuticals.

Full disclosure upfront: Jim is a figment of my imagination. He is also a near perfect example of what not to do as a social media marketer. Perhaps you’ve met Jim. He may even be sitting a few cubicles down from you. He is your company’s Chief Social Media Ninja Guru Super Hero Rock Star.

Jim believes that he has just won an award for his stellar social media marketing prowess (you’re in on the joke) and has been asked to talk about social media best practices for the benefit of his audience —that’s you!

Here is an extract from his speech:

“The best way to deal with negative Facebook and Twitter comments is to delete the ones you catch as soon as possible. If your schedule is too busy to monitor social media feedback, just ignoring criticisms will suffice. Ignorance is bliss, so deny any mistakes your company makes. Use malicious software to access and exploit private information. Another great way to invade customer’s privacy is via non-targeted spam marketing. If a customer tries to interact with you, anger is an appropriate response. If a customer keeps nagging you, dropping the F-bomb should get your point across. The recipe for getting on the first page of Google is simple: use hidden text or links, cross-link sites to inflate its perceived value, use keyword stuffing, excessive outbound links and duplicate content. Pretend to be a customer and endorse your own products and services to effectively build brand loyalty. Some of you are numbers people, so lets talk about the best way to allocate your budget: 50% should be spent on buying Facebook fans and the remaining 50% on getting false testimonials, and remember talk is cheap, so over promise and under deliver.”

—Jim Blackhat, Chief Social Media Ninja Guru Super Hero Rock Star

Photo credit: Hubspot

Help Jim out by suggesting some additional social media marketing activities.

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9 Responses to this post.

  1. Raj Dhokia (@iamRADJ)'s Gravatar

    Posted by Raj Dhokia (@iamRADJ) on 05.08.11 at 8:04 am

    This is Brilliant!!!

    (Invoice for £50 attached)

  2. Sapphire McCullough (@sphinxfire)'s Gravatar

    Posted by Sapphire McCullough (@sphinxfire) on 05.08.11 at 8:04 am

    Hey Laura, you clearly have ‘someONE’ in mind – be courageous, it takes integrity to risk a lawsuit. With your tenacity and sparkling loquaciousness you WILL win, at the very least our admiration, so be assertive – name and shame…

    If this is really a ‘figment of your imagination then scarily, not only was your posting witty, but darkly: either a vision for what is to come, or a manifesto of the current times.

  3. Monica Morong (@MonMorong)'s Gravatar

    Posted by Monica Morong (@MonMorong) on 05.08.11 at 8:04 am

    Ha! This is a humourous view of a “fictitious” character Laura-Lee! In addition to the optics-increasing, self-endorsing, keyword-stuffing and link-rigging tactics, I’d say the worst offense in social media today is a company/individual who doesn’t engage with their audience and is simply into one-way marketing. The whole point of “social networking” is to CONNECT with, learn from, engage, care about, understand and value others. Why bother having a FB, LI or Twitter account if you’re only about optics? There will come a time when the “fictitious” culprits will be exposed…

  4. Marketing Sociologist's Gravatar

    Posted by Marketing Sociologist on 05.08.11 at 8:04 am

    Ironic how all the 2010 advertising and public relations agencies are now “Chief Social Media Ninja Guru Super Hero Rock Star.”

    In 2006, I was telling prospective clients they needed a MySpace and YouTube presence. I was told they needed press releases and newspaper advertising. Things haven’t changed. In today’s age of SmartPhones, those forward thinking marketers I pitched in 2006 ignore Twitter and want “SEO”. Oh well.

  5. lauraleewalker's Gravatar

    Posted by lauraleewalker on 05.08.11 at 8:04 am

    I agree completely about engaging your audience and I think that is something you really excel in! I’ve seen many businesses that miss that key aspect of social media marketing. Effective social media marketing is not like traditional marketing where we are simply broadcasting a message. Thank you for adding value to this post! Have a great day!!

  6. lauraleewalker's Gravatar

    Posted by lauraleewalker on 05.08.11 at 8:04 am

    It’s music to my ears when readers that have experience with social media on a professional level put in their two cents. It’s such a great learning opportunity for myself and my readers. Have a great day!

  7. lauraleewalker's Gravatar

    Posted by lauraleewalker on 05.08.11 at 8:04 am

    I have a range of people in mind for this post. It’s basically a collection of the worst social media marketing practices all rolled into one. That aside, your comment is just really good writing. Can you comment on all my posts? :0)

  8. InnovativeJon's Gravatar

    Posted by InnovativeJon on 05.08.11 at 8:04 am

    Agree with you Monica, so many companies treat the social networks as a shopfront and have forgotten the intent of the audience when they logged on to their faceback etc

    I sort of think of social media (commercial pages) as something like a virtual bar or a coffee shop, you go there to talk and interact with friends, family or even the odd stranger.

    You choose a bar or coffee shop because what it looks like, who else is there, who is not there, how the staff interact with you, or maybe just for the free wifi.

    You don’t want the barman to be demanding you drink now, buy something now, or tell you he/she just overheard you conversation and you are stupid and don’t understand.

    p.s. I’m pretty sure I know Jim – keep up the posts

  9. Sapphire McCullough (@sphinxfire)'s Gravatar

    Posted by Sapphire McCullough (@sphinxfire) on 05.08.11 at 8:04 am

    Laura, thank you so much for the compliment, I should add, the tenacity of such a myriad of mirky individuals to excel in self-promoting and suave sometimes delightfully despicable should be a play, You have missed your true vocation and should consider writing a screen play. If the ‘Office; is missing a playwriter, please apply! I eagerly await your next delicious sushee of palatable prowess as you apply your perspecuity to another modern human condition.

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